Elation and buzz is relative

So, more or less by mistake I gave my (spam-sink) email address to another PUA/SC plying his wares ("by mistake" as in, I wanted to receive a single freebie product, and naively didn't realise that they would of course use it to send me lots of adverts for their expensive courses). This one goes by the handle, "Christian Hudson".

It's fair enough: one or two of the emails from a couple of others who got my addy the same way have actually had a point worth thinking on at least. But the thing that always gets me is the assumption that everyone is the same unless they have different genitalia.

This is a prime example, and one that I really want to talk about:

The email contained the following line, about where you find attractive women:

Besides Flo Rida, David Guetta and yours truly, you'll also find hot women at hot parties. I long struggled to understand why so many women are attracted to clubs and not, say, existential philosophy. Well hmm... Kierkegaard's words, while clever, don't quite cause the same sense of elation as dancing drunk on a table to fun music and flashing lights.

Reading that, my brain came to a screeching halt. Because in my experience, I have never felt any elation from dancing (drunk or sober) on a table to "fun music and flashing lights". I have once or twice been in that situation, but what I felt wasn't "elation". What I felt was "in the wrong body". It just. felt. wrong.

On the other hand, reading philosophy sometimes has produced a sense of elation adn wonderment that is incredibly valuable to me.

Let's be charitable and say that Mr Hudson is talking about the difference between physical and intellectual elation. Let's call "physical elation", "buzz" for short. I did get a sense of buzz from the competitive effort when I tried out for the soccer team a couple of weeks ago, for example, and that certainly was different from anything I would get from reading or debating philosophy or science.

Mr Hudson seems to think that everyone gets this buzz from crowds, display, alcohol and music.

I'm an Introvert: crowds kill my buzz. Displaying, quite often, kills my buzz.

Alcohol, I find, tends to work to anaesthetise and kill a lot of buzz-y feeling in me.

I buzz from music, certainly, but clearly in a very different way. The most "buzz-y" occasions I've had are where I can either be lost in the crowd (singing along with everyone else), or else sharing the experience much more closely with just one person (or a couple of other people) with whom I already have a connection. Either that, or I am actually performing the music myself (and then there's a whole lot of stage fright buzzing going on at the same time).

If you want me to feel elation then your best bet is, in fact, to go for the brain rather than the body. I will feel it when we have a scintillating, engaging conversation that feels intellectually as stimulating and energetic as the physical sensations of dancing or whatever. I will feel it if our minds start to converge and attraction starts to build on that level.

The frustrating thing is that Mr Hudson claims that:

And the lifestyle is an effect, not a cause.

And the women are most certainly an effect.

In other words, it's not "first you get the game, then you get the lifestyle, then you get the women."

No, it's "first you get yourself, then you get the game, then you get the lifestyle, then you get the women."

YOU are the cause of your success. Not your game. Not your lifestyle. Those are effects of who YOU are.

However, all his examples are extroverts being themselves and being successful with women.

The lifestyle is an effect, he says, of finding and being yourself. But everything he suggests as a lifestyle that works to be successful with women is antithetical to who I really, truly, am. All of them assume that the "real" me must be an outgoing, crowd-confident, extrovert. And that is not who I really am, because I have done a whole lot of work in the past 20 years or so to figure out what that really is, and one thing is certain: I am not an extrovert!

I am confident that there are ways for me to work around this fact and thereby meet attractive women and talk to them, get their numbers etc etc blah blah. However, to date I have not found any evidence that PUA/SC people have them, so I'm more or less figuring it out as I go.