How men (get told to) deal with heartbreak

Another "dating/romance tips" thing from Yahoo, because you know how I love to mock and discredit them - although this time, I went looking for it a little bit (I was just in that sort of a mood) by clicking through links from the first one they offered to find one that I could get my teeth into properly.

Anyway, apparently there are three ways that men stereotypically cope with heartbreak. The reporter says, "To clear up some common misconceptions, we interviewed various men to help us figure out the hidden meanings behind a few common stereotypes about how men handle heartbreak." So, no checking to see whether the stereotypes are true, then?

Anyway, the stereotypes are:

They party hard

They start dating around

They hit the gym. A lot

The interesting thing is, I wasn't aware that men do do these things, but I have noticed that these three tactics are the advice that PUA blogs seem to give for men to "get over" being dumped. The classic one is number 2, where the PUA/seduction community have a saying, "FTOW", which stands for, "Find/Fuck 10 Other Women". The idea is that after doing that, a guy will see that his ex was nothing special and that there are "plenty more fish in the sea". The linked explanation adds:

The phrase is generally not taken to be literally true, as it would take a lot more skill than newbies typically have to actually go out and sleep with ten women, but the idea is go out and meet other women as a way of getting over a past love.

Which is precisely, "start dating around".

Of course, if this is what men "stereotypically" do, then the question arises of why men would need to be advised to do this when they have trouble getting over someone?

As for "party hard", I think it is stereotypical of both normative genders that one way of getting over a breakup is to go out and remind yourself what the good things are about being single. Unfortunately, the stereotype for men is that they like to get drunk and hang out, and that being with someone prevents that - so the stereotype for men is "hang out with mates (i.e. drinking). But again, there is this thing of advice-givers telling guys that that is how they need to deal with the emotions. I have more often seen men as being, or being portrayed as, sunk in post-breakup despondency.

Again, the "working out" stereotype seems to be one that applies just as strongly to women as to men - whether it's working on appearance, or actually doing exercise, using the energy and endorphin rush of exercise is a way to fight off depression for all genders (indeed, one of the commonly-repeated pieces of advice for those suffering from so-called "clinical" depression is to get regular exercise). It is only that social norms code this for men as 'working off aggression" while I'm not sure what it gets coded as for women (apart from, 'working on her appearance', I'm guessing).

Now, I have some personal comment on these as well. I am not the type to "hit the gym", and I don't go getting drunk or party much as a rule (I am lots of fun, just not, rowdy, drunk, party fun). I do tend to jump right back into the "seeking a date" routine after being dumped. Emotionally, the way I experience things is very "roller coaster" - when I get dumped, it is a huge wallop - BANG! and it hurts like nothing else. But I absorb that, I acknowledge it, and after a few days I move on - the pain refers to the past, and while it still hurts it is not controlling me any more. I remind myself that every time I go into a relationship, the most probable outcome is that it will end, and it will hurt, and that is the price for being willing to love - it wouldn't hurt if it didn't mean anything, after all, and the hurt reminds me that loving is so good. Just because I look to the future, doesn't mean it was easy giving up the past. I just condense the pain into a shorter timeframe and more intense experience!