Ranty reply to Quiet Riot Girl on "faggy MRAs and faggy feminists"

After some thought, I've decided to preface this with a trigger warning for what I see as advocacy of nonconsensual sexual activities in a quoted passage from Quiet Riot Girl.

Quiet Riot Girl this week wrote a post about the "gender war" between MRAs and feminists, titled The Rite Of Faghood And Fagly Feminists. Frankly, I feel the title was the best bit, and even that annoyed me. The rest, well, it's made me really quite cross indeed.

I'm writing here pretty much to make a point, which is that QRG complained of being "banned" by Clarisse Thorn when Clarisse asked her to take her tone down a notch and perhaps be a bit less directly offensive in her criticisms of feminism on what is, after all a feminist blog. Well, another recent post by QRG says:

Sometimes I am too soft on people who like to have a go at me and dismiss my views and frankly insult me personally, Online (and also in ‘RL’).

But I am toughening up.

I do not censor people on my blog. I publish all comments unless they are persistently aggressive, personal attacks.

...

But show some respect ok?

Which to me sounds just like what Clarisse was asking for QRG to do. I don't know if QRG would consider what I have to say here to constitute an attack that is "persistently aggressive" or "personal" (I doubt she would, actually) but I do feel as though now I am unable to be as open and free at QRG's place as I would like, in much the same way as QRG complained of being stifled (or even banned!) at Clarisse Thorn's place. I have a thing about hypocrisy, have done since I was very small.

Personally, I could scarcely care less if someone feels stifled or silenced or banned by my comments policy, they are free to respond to me in the same manner as I now respond to QRG.

Anyway, after that lengthy preamble, on to the main show (which is probably now shorter than the preamble!)

So I was a little bit amused when I saw that a very vociferous young feminist blogger had been in contact with a MRA group, called, hilariously, Rite Of Manhood. I thought I would share her response to them with you:

Forty Shades Of Grey :: Rite Of Manhood

At the end of her post she writes, beseechingly:

‘I would also like to encourage everyone, especially Rite Of Manhood to read this excellent post from The Good Men Project, which explains why the solution to most MRA problems is actually more feminism.’

That’s it! The solution to most MRA problems, in fact to MOST PROBLEMS full stop, is MORE FEMINISM!

If that is the solution, I think we are in big trouble folks.

The way in which I think MRAs and feminists are the most similar, is how they are both so into the power of the COCK. Yes. I truly believe that ... [they are] just really rather faggy.

Maybe one way to sort this whole thing out would be for the feminists and the MRAs to take it in turns at a bit of manly sodomy. The feminists can strap one on, and do the MRAs up the arse, and then they can get down on their feminist knees and suck some MRA cock. And then they can bend over and take it like… a man.

And then. And then we might get somewhere with all this ‘gender war’ crap.

Well, I'm someone who suggests more feminism as the solution to men's problems. Know why? Because men are the cause of men's problems, typically. I identify as feminist precisely because of all the good things that feminism does for men, if we would but listen and take hold of them. The problem with MRAs is that they want gender war instead of cleaning up their own house first. It becomes apparent that they are more interested in keeping women form having rights than in ensuring that men get better ones.

Actually, what I want is not for feminists to do it for men, but rather for men to sort themselves out and stop teaching other men, and the next generations of men, to be "real men", and instead set each other free by refusing to police each other's gender performance (which goes hand-in-hand with motives to end misogyny and misandry). That's something men can only do for themselves and unfortunately, the very opposite of what MRA groups typically tell men to do.

Of course, keeping men in line is not restricted solely to men doing it - for example, all your talk of "fag" this and "fagly" that and "faghood" the other frankly smacks of gender policing to me. I'm not clear on whether you're trying to police it back to the harsh binary, or if you're trying to police it to something in the middle that everyone should be (the "faghood" of your title, perhaps?), but either way it's not helping and makes you just another faction like the ones you outlined above.

Again, your comments are treating feminism as a single monolithic entity and frankly, I feel as though you have already decided what "feminism" is saying and then it doesn't matter what is actually said, you respond as though a feminist said what you expected to hear.

Finally, suggesting anal rape as a solution to the gender war? And you claim that "rape culture" doesn't exist? Come on! If you really want to police everyone into "fag gender", then frankly I see no difference between your suggestion of enforced sodomy and fellatio to end gender war, and the current practice that some men around the world have, of "corrective rape" to "cure" lesbians of their lesbianism. And if you don't, then frankly, I can't see what on Earth would make you think that sodomy would have any effect whatsoever on the power structures of the world, or on the politics of the survivors of your rape-y scheme. Or was it just a vicious fantasy of vengeance on two groups you happen not to like? (In which case, I can at least share the violent sentiments of the fantasy, as long as it's understood to be ONLY fantasy. BTW, did you envisage the two sides offering each other reach-around?)

As it happens, I'm probably one of the more eager men in the world to try taking it up the arse from a strap-on (Incidentally, I don't think this makes me "fagly" either, and I would thank you not to erase my complex sexuality with your (and Mark Simpson's) dogma) - but even that doesn't mean I'll bend over for just anyone (particularly not a "radfem" of the type you seem to believe forms all of feminism). And no way I'm spreading my cheeks for a MRA dick either.

I would say, "Fuck you, Arsehole" but since that's what you were apparently advocating, it seems somewhat inappropriate in this context!