The last three days and nights, I have been inexplicably grumpy. Little things that I normally let go with barely a twitch have been getting full-on growly treatment, putting me in foul moods and generally have me seething.
This is not depression - or at least, not like I've experienced it before. Depression is an old and familiar face in my brain, and I recognise it, I know how to deal with it (most times). If this means he's learned a new trick that will be very bad news!
Worse, it seems to be affecting my sleep. Last night I only got about 4 hours. I know that this is not the cause because before this came on I was getting plenty of sleep and feeling pretty sprightly. The sleep has been affected by the grumpiness and not vice versa.
Nothing bothers me more than being off my game (in any way) and not knowing why. It is always annoying to be less than my best, but if I know why then I can at least understand the problem and either decide what to do, or else recognise that I just have to wait until it passes (but I have some idea that it will pass). But when I don't know, there is no way to say "change the things I can change, accept the things I can't change" because I don't know what it is, I can't tell if I can change it or not. So I am left in a frustrated limbo.
I don't think there is any point to this post as such, I just wanted to moan to as wide an audience as possible.
Thank you all for listening.
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