Teen male says "I want to join the Guides"

From the local Sussex Courier newspaper, a story about a 17 year old boy who was turned away from the Guides, and who is claiming discrimination.

The two sides of the story are fairly familiar to feminists, I would imagine.

His story goes:

Thomas Desai, 17, of Willowmead, was invited by two female friends to join them at their weekly session at the Guide hut in Whitehill Road – but he was turned away at the door.

"I made the assumption, as girls are welcome to be members of the Scouting movement, I would be welcome," Thomas said.

...

"It's not as if I was some strange person going on my own. I was with friends. They turned me away just because I was a male."

Thomas said he had always been fascinated with Girlguiding. He said: "The values of camaraderie and friendship within the movement, as well as the various activities members undertake, appeal to me greatly.

"I have never really had male-orientated hobbies. I'm not interested in football and rugby.

"I love cooking and eventually want to be a chef.

"I feel I can engage better with girls than boys."

The Guides' spokesperson explained that:

"The young man turned up unexpectedly. He was spoken to by a person responsible for a younger age group.

"The Rangers leader had no knowledge of this and would have given him the same message but might have used a slightly more 'teen-friendly' approach to explain to him why we are a girl-only space."

She added: "Our young members, whom we frequently consult, have repeatedly told us enjoying a safe girl-only space is one of the things they value most.

"We strongly believe that in today's world there remains a vital role for such a space, where girls can be themselves during a formative time in their lives."

I can in some ways sympathise with Mr Desai's position. Heck, when I was his age, I would have argued the same way as he does.

Unfortunately for Mr Desai, he is a victim not of discrimination by the Guides, but rather of the continued social pressures associated with gender that are experienced by both genders, but by women especially. It is not anything about him personally, or even particularly about his gender, but rather about socialised pressures on how women respond to his gender being present in their group. The Guides' spokesperson refers to the great value that being able to escape those pressure provides for members of the Guides, as reported by those members.

This poses a problem for those of us males who feel like we have not socialised fully into the "male" roles - Mr Desai included. Gendered expectations are present for him just as much as for the members of the Guides, and being not quite "one of the lads", he may well feel like he hasn't anywhere to go to escape the pressures he feels. Such is the state of our society (even in the 21st Century!), that male-only environments actually provide even more pressure to perform masculinity well.

Possibly the most interesting element of the story is that Mr Desai's two friends expected him to be welcomed into the girls-only group. It suggests that they, at least, see him as "one of the girls". (Or, as I am sure some feminists will argue, that they already have the pressures of female subservience to males ingrained to that level.)