Nefarious plans foiled, but in the nicest possible way

As promised, here is a tale of dating nerves, and how it all ended up. This all started from 3 Tuesdays ago now (so 18th May) - and finished up a week later!

Tuesdays, as some may know from previous posts, are when I have my ballroom & Latin dance class. On 18th May, I found my way down to the hall where the class takes place and shortly after I arrived, so did a stunning beauty, G., who was arriving for her first ever class. She and I happened to be about the same age, she might be a little younger than me but close, and we also happened to be the only ones who were single that evening. This meant that we more or less automatically got paired together. Because the class wasn't due to start for a while, we managed to have a conversation beforehand, got to know each other a little. All very promising, and a boost to my self-confidence in talking to strangers!

Well, regular readers will know my kinky proclivities. So you will understand the flutter of hope I felt with what follows:

The male dancers were taught how to use the ballroom hold to control and direct our partners effectively and easily. G. wanted to feel it, and of course I wanted to try it out. So I tried it on her and, well, she responded beautifully, as though she really enjoyed the experience of being under my control!

The excitement didn't stop there, however. When we moved on to the Latin dance of the evening there was more. Once again, G. and I were partnered together. Once again, there was a part where the hold (this time a handhold) is used by the male dancer to direct his partner. Just like several of the dancers I've partnered in the class, G. wanted to pre-empt my moves. Most of those women ignore it when I ask them to wait for my direction. G. thanked me and did as I asked, following instruction and direction so well. By now I was thinking that she might be latent (or even not-so-latent) subbie, and I had a chance of "corrupting the 'nilla" (that is, of introducing a 'nilla person to BDSM).

So I made up my mind that the next Tuesday I would take things up a step, and hopefully if conversation went well, I could ask for her number at the end of the evening. This followed from the idea that Greg Behrendt implies in "He's Just Not That Into You" that men only stand a chance if they make the first move. Also, I figured she'd never know I was interested unless I sent some clear signal (such as asking for her number).

Well! The immediate consequence of this was that I spent the entire week until the next class in a state of heightened nervous excitement. The idea of actually striking up conversation and making a move to indicate my interest filled me with jelly-wobble fear. But I was determined to do it! I would not be imprisoned by my own panic! Talking with my female friends about the whole situation boosted my confidence that I could overcome the nerves, the shyness, the fear.

So Tuesday came around and I went through some preparations to make myself feel confident and attractive. I headed on down to the hall. I arrived in plenty of time (because I was hoping for some conversation with G. G. had not yet arrived, so I got myself settled and loosened up ready to dance - and tried to relax enough that I would be able to speak English (more or less).

Well, G. arrived a few minutes later, and literally the first thing she said as she entered and saw me was "Hi [Snowdrop] - this is my husband, H." So all that nervous excitement, psyching up and everything was all for nothing: she wasn't single really anyway! (Honest, that would have been something I would have hoped to gather from conversation before making my move!)

Was I disappointed? A little, I suppose - but I couldn't feel bad or negative about it: G. and H. were so sweet together it was beautiful to see.

Anyway, that was my totally exciting story that I wanted to tell you. I suppose the really good bit from a "personal development" point of view for me is that I got to rehearse the emtional crisis, I got to practise in my mind how I might manage it if another opportunity to chat up a woman who may or may not be 'nilla in nature, and with whom I had never communicated before by email, IM or other means.

[NB G. and H. may not be the people's real initials]