Common abbreviations used:
G.B. = Greg Behrendt (author)
L.T. = Liz Tuccillo (author)
"'Nuff said" = "There is no need to say anything more about this."
A brief note: The word beginning with 'R' that I had in mind for "pressuring someone into sex" is the four-letter one. Whether using "rape" to refer to such things is strictly accurate or not, and whether it's belittling the experience of rape survivors, I couldn't discuss here at length. This post/series of posts is just a record of the immediate thoughts/emotional reactions I had as I read the book. So, my immediate emotive reaction was to use "rape" (with the emotive force of that word).
Chapter 5: …if he's having sex with someone else. There's never going to be a good excuse for cheating
Right, the sub-heading flags up that we're not talking about poly, or open relationships, here: this is about doing it on the sly – "cheating" in other words. Or, in my book, betraying trust. As it happens, in G.B.'s book too.
This is going to be short, because of total agreement with G.B.
'He's got no excuse and he knows it':
G.B. – "Cheating is bad. Not knowing why you did it is even worse."
'Nuff said.
'But I've gotten fat':
G.B. "he just cheated on you and called you fat… Get rid of this loser"
'Nuff said.
'He has a stronger sex drive than I':
G.B.: "These last two guys are good. They've betrayed their relationships and humiliated their girlfriends. Then they tell them that it's their fault… Don't let any man blame you for their infidelity. Ever."
Not to mention – don't let any man pressure you into more sex than you're happy with having. There's a word for trying to force someone to have sex with you, and it's not "relationship" – It begins with 'R' but is a lot shorter.
'But at least he knew her':
G.B.: "You can't blame a guy for having feelings… But having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex. That required him to take his feelings and use them to be somewhere alone with his beloved, undress her, kiss her, and do all the other things involved with having sexual intercourse with someone."
Well, yes, exactly. Although I can't help but feel I've been making this point in the past four chapters, where G.B. was all "he can't help himself if he's really into you" and all that stereotypical men are uncontrolled sex-beasts crap.
Chapter summary: "If you are in a mutually established monogamous relationship… Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust."
A-men to that!
(Nothing really to add from "Why This One Is Hard" or "How It's Supposed To Work")
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