My "Tribe"

The observant among my readers will have noticed I have a tag called 'join the kroo', which I tend to use for posts that talk about people or groups with whom I feel an affiliation, and on one level that 'crew' could be called a tribe, and there are some illustrious people within those bounds, amongst whom I count myself but a feeble flickering candle.

But when I think of my Tribe, the term refers to a much smaller group of people, some of whom don't know each other, and don't even know of each other's existence. But these are the people for whom I feel great loyalty, with the deepest passion and fierceness.

I'm the sort of person who'll move Heaven and Earth to help even a stranger - that's a huge part of my abiding faith in Jesus Christ and in His commandments anyway. But if I will move Heaven and Earth to help a stranger, then my Tribe are the people for whom I would flex the very fabric of space-time, change the laws of physics, alter the nature of reality.

The loyalty and effort I will put into supporting my Tribe are such that most people would consider it beyond all reason or rational behaviour. Such people, of course, don't share my depth of loyalty. An example is when Julie was sectioned under the Mental Health Act and transferred pretty much against her will to a clinic in London. I had no money to spare for a trip, but I forced there to be a way so that I could go and see her. Spending the money was, by most measures, a stupid thing to do, but she needed me there so I went, and to Hell with the knock-on costs it would have for me. This is what it means when I count someone in my Tribe.

If you're in my Tribe, I'll have your back no matter what. If you say you need my help, you've got it, regardless of whether I can actually give it or not (I'll find a way to make it possible). You don't get to tell me not to make that kind of effort - if you're in my Tribe, it means I chose to include you, and it means I choose to make that sort of sacrifice on your behalf, and you don't get to be responsible for my decisions or their consequences for me. I willingly do what looks dumb from any other standpoint, because from the standpoint that you're in my Tribe, it isn't dumb. And if I wasn't able to help, you know that I either died trying, or else I fucked up by doing the wrong thing.

There are very few people in my Tribe. Most people in my Tribe are long-time friends or family, but not all such friends or family are people I would necessarily call my Tribe. There is only one person in my Tribe whom I haven't met face-to-face, and for whom being physically there to help is beyond my means (even if I did flex space-time and all that other stuff), but I know we share the same fierce sense of loyalty to certain folks (mostly to different folks, but the feeling is the same).

A lot of the time I frame this Tribe notion interms of combat and willingness to fight for someone, but it also works (as shown by the description of Julie's need) in terms of emotional support, shoulder to lean on/cry on, and all the rest. If I can be there physically, I will be; if not, I'll be on the end of a phone or internet connection whenever needed for as long as needed.

There is, I suppose, a fringe of "Tribe-affiliates" - the groups that I would be willing to go to war for cannot be called part of my Tribe in the sense described above, I am not given to cause-loyalty in the same way that I am to real people. But these groups, the people in them, all things being equal, get my support every time:

Sex workers (and sex workers' rights activists)

Trans folks

Kinky folks

I'll stand by anyone who seems to be hated unjustly, but these groups for one reason or another, have special meaning for me (kinky folks, obviously, cos I am one!).

As I said, I'll stick up for just about anyone who needs a helping hand or a friendly voice in their favour, and go that extra mile for them if I have the effort to spare. But my Tribe, there is no question about "spare", it will be expended first and then I'll figure out where I'll get it from.