Interview Me'me

(That's supposed to be parsed as "Interview Meme" but it's also "interview me")

This via Ren Ev:

"I answer the questions the last person asked, and then if you want me to interview you, ask me in the comments and we'll go, then you answer in your blog"

These are Ren's questions for me, and my answers:

What is the weirdest place you've ever been?

That's a tricky one, because who decides what's "weird"? And then again, what sort of weird? When I visited Dartmoor, a lot of the rock formations were strange and twisted shapes that could be called weird. If we're talking about the people I found in a place, then for sheer freak-out-inducing factor, it's probably the "Scope" charity shop in Tonbridge. In a sense of a whole place just feeling spooky and strange, then it's a toss-up between Milton Keynes and the new town where my parents live, while they still had the strange speed signs up (they weren't allowed to put regular ones up until the roads were properly registered with the Highways Agency, so instead of 20mph they had 19 instead, which gave everything a really spooky "The Prisoner" kind of feel to the place)

You can switch bodies with any human on the face of the earth for 24 hours, who do you switch with?

Honestly, Ren, I'm struggling to think of anyone I'd find more fascinating to that with than yourself. I would certainly want to swap with a woman; I would want to swap with someone sexually active in a brutal way (either BDSM or the rough sex you go for would do!) and I would want to experience that sex at least once; I would want to feel beautiful and confident in whoever's body I was in (that actually leaves a lot of scope for me). All-in-all of all the people I know, you probably fit the bill best!

Although, being Jacqui Smith for a day and undoing all the anti-prostitution crap that she's introduced, might be nice, too.

Someone puts you in a comic book, are you a hero or a villain?

That's a toughy. When I was growing up I always thought the James Bond baddies were the coolest and wanted to be like them - still do, really: evil megalomaniacs have a great job until some well-meaning jerk like 00-sodding-7 turns up and spoils the party. So I would really want to be a comic book supervillain. But on the other hand, when people look at me and interact with me, I suspect they have a hard job casting me in that role, and ultimately I have too many principles and such to be a truly villainous character: I guess I would be much more an "anti-hero", the hero you love because he's a villain too. (Any comic book character me would HAVE to be a sadist, so there's no way I'd be the pure and light type of hero!)

You're designing a piece of jewelry for yourself, what does it look like?

Definitely a pendant. Almost certainly gold, with rubies and/or diamonds. It would have to go on a thin gold chain, and be suitable to be worn next to my skin. It would be have to look elegant: small and delicate in style, no "bling" or any of that stuff going on! No straight edges, all curves, but it still is longer than it is wide. I think the design would probably subtly bring to mind the curves of the female form, maybe a ruby would then be situated in the crotch, another in the centre of the chest (so not directly over the heart, but suggestive of the heart - the jewels form a single straight line down the middle of the piece) At the "head" and "feet" would be diamonds, and if it were possible (considering the size I imagine this piece would be, it might not be do-able) then the letters "S" and "M" worked into the design (either for Sadist/Masochist, or for Master/Slave) would complete the design.

One thing you cannot make it through the day without?

The usual blasé answers would be "oxygen" or "water". When in financial difficulties I have said that as long as I have in the flat a supply of food and a supply of loo paper, then everything else I can figure out somehow. There's really not much now that I would say I couldn't make it through the day without it, just because there have been so many days where I have had to make it through the day without things I once considered essential. But I think I would really struggle to go many days in a row without reading something, so I guess "reading" is the best answer I can give.

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So, now it's your turn - if you want me to ask you some questions, say so in the comments!