Hate and Love and Friendship

Two pieces from Feministe today:

Firstly, I want to draw attention to an incredibly moving video highlighted by Cara, called Don't Divorce Us, about the thousands of Californian gay couples whose marriages are threatened by the passage of Proposition 8 last November. While it's a California-specific message (for the moment), the emotions are real across the world, and this is something that is close to my heart for a number of reasons in the shape of people (fairly) close to me personally in England (where the Civil Union solution really is "marriage in all but name").

Secondly, a story of an anti-rape poster that was defaced and altered to give the opposite message. The poster originally read "Real men do not let other men rape". Someone with a stanley knife or something cut out several of the words, leaving "Real men do rape". Retribution justice would demand that whoever did this should find themselves in prison, and subjected to the attentions of some "real men" in the manner that their version of the poster prescribed. Who knows, it might just work to teach them the error of their ways, and work from a "reform" model of punishment, too? Yeah, I'm pretty angry about this, and that picture of me at the top, describing myself as "fierce", with guns in hand and a snarl on my face? That's the side of me this story brings out. Ethically, I cannot support the type of punishment that my rage wants to mete out to the perpetrators of this hate crime - I don't think we bring an end to rape by perpetrating more of it!

The heading of this post explains the link between the two pieces, in my opinion. Both of them hinge on hatred, those who are hated, and those opposing hatred. In the video about gay couples' right to remain married, we see the hatred and fear that people bring to considering gay folks, but we also see how their love for one another endures despite that. In the original poster against rape, it is the important factor that it is our duties as human beings (don't even bother with the gender part of the original statement) to stand up against crimes of physical brutality that directly attack a person's humanity - and that a good friend does not stand idly by while his friend commits such a crime, but should stop him and be the conscience that his friend needs. The defacing of that poster shows a viceral hatred of women, and a vile image of what it means to be masculine.

Nevertheless, I am convinced that against hatred, we will still have friends, and lovers, who won't let it go, won't let it be, won't allow hate to hold the field, but always shall fight back against it.